10 Things Your Neurospicy Pre-Teen and Teenager Want You To Know
- Bunmi
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Number 1: I'm not being lazy. I get BURNED OUT.
I can be lazy like anyone else, but sometimes I just need time to reset my nervous system. Hoodie up, face in a game or book or show, doing nothing helps me relax. I know I can't do it forever and might need help setting limits. Feel free to make sure I don't bed rot.
But I need time to be calm. All of this growing is actually exhausting, too. I promise to go on a walk with you later. Tell me what time. Not in five minutes, please. Like in an hour.
Number 2: I'd like help but don't know how to ask and am worried someone will get mad at me.
Asking for help makes me feel not smart. It's easier to just pretend I know what I'm doing or ignore the ISSUE hoping it'll melt into nothing. Yeah, I know it never does, but it can't hurt to try. Actually, it can hurt to try but it can also hurt to ask for help so I'm picking peace for today and a dumpster fire for the very near future.
One way to help me get comfortable asking for help when my pride gets in the way is to remind me that even adults need help sometimes. Make a joke out of it. Remind me that I'm not a colossal failure for needing a hand.
Number 3: I pretend to understand things I don't because I get tired of needing help or not feeling smart.
"I know" is my favorite sentence because, to be honest, it makes me feel really good PLUS I'm trying to get you to stop talking. I know you're right, but the lectures get to me sometimes. I'm truly not trying to be a bad kid, but I feel like I make a lot of mistakes and have so much to learn.
It's overwhelming. Like. will I ever know enough? Faking confidence makes me feel confident sometimes. I hope that you aren't catching on to the fact that a lot of the time I'm completely winging it.
Number 4: I would like your help making friend and organizing friend stuff sometimes.
I know you think all I want is money and for you to drive me places and while I ABSOLUTELY want those things, I also need help with the basics. What is a good friend? How can I be one?
How can I find a friend? Can you help me organize a get together that doesn't sound awful? Please do it without making me feel like a baby. Thank you. Much love.
Number 5. Please teach me how to make some easy stuff to eat.
I can make nachos, but I would really like to learn how to make a few meals that I like. Pasta with an easy sauce. Grilled cheese. Air fryer things that I can make into a meal. A TikTok dessert.
Cooking makes me feel confident. It makes me feel grown up. Please help me learn to make some stuff or point me in the direction of videos that can help me out.
Explain basic kitchen safety to me. It makes me feel super adulty and ready for life.
Number 6: I'm not being picky. There are just a lot of gross foods in the world to me.
I'm begging you to stop asking me to eat things you know make me gag. There are foods you don't like, too. I'm not a three year old who is just being difficult because it's fun, I'm really trying not to barf when I see certain foods, ok? Please don't take it personally.
Dinnertime doesn't need to be spiritual warfare for anyone.
Number 7: I'm not unfriendly, I just don't pretend (lie) as easily as most people.
If you want me to learn how to be fake, you're gonna have to teach me how and explain in detail why it's important. Teach me about first impressions, why other people's experience of me matters in the real world, how not to dominate conversations, how to think of things to talk about, how to excuse myself without hurting anyone's feelings, etc.
I actually do want to learn how to be with people. It's just that certain things (small talk) does not come naturally to everyone.
Number 8: Sometimes I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just overwhelmed.
Please don't get mad at me. When I'm stressed, I can be a little rude. I will take the correction but please don't get mad!
Number 9: I make a lot of assumptions. Tell me how you really feel.
I assume the wrong things sometimes. When you're stressed, I can think you're angry at me, disappointed, etc. My imagination can run wild.
Tell me when something is bothering you and let me know it's not me. If it is me...well sorry? Idk. Just help me understand what's going on around me. It's confusing to feel tension, sadness, excitement, nervousness, etc. but not know why they're there.
Help me get good at understanding atmospheres by being as honest as you can.
Number 10: Help me win, point me in the direction of what I'm good at.
If you know that I hate math and am never going to be an enginner, please don't sign me up for mathletes. Don't set me up for misery just to check off boxes. Help me figure out what I'm good at and put together a plan for the future I can be excited about.
There ARE things I'm good at. You can see them before I can, a lot of the time. Steer me in that direction.
Not everyone needs to take the four year university path. Trade schools are awesome for lots of people.
Don't force me into a box I can't and don't want to fit in because you're scared.
love,
your Honest Teenager
Prayer for your teenager. This is how I pray for my kids. <3 - Bunmi
Dear God, I know my child is fearfully and wonderfully made.
You see every struggle and area of concern. I pray that you will help me understand my teenager. Repair anything in our relationship that gone the wrong way. Heal any misunderstanding or point of contention and show me how to parent this child you've given me to raise.
I pray that You will work in my child's mind, heart, soul, and body. Remove anything that You didn't put there. Let my child know how much they are loved by You. Let them know You. Because having You in this life is everything.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Meets Dog Man Meets Faith, Fun, & Laughs
David's Diary is a brand new chapter book series by Bunmi Laditan full of everyday adventure. Featuring neurodivergent characters who GROW and figure out that with God, all things are possible.
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