Thing Your Neurodivergent Kid Wants to Tell You #276: Help Me Make Friends
- Bunmi
- Jun 23
- 3 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
For some people, making friends is pretty easy.
For others. it's NOT.
When I was a kid, I always had one friend at a time. I believe God gave me one friend as a special gift.
The friend that I had would always have other friends, but they were always my only friend. I tended to keep a bit to myself.
This was true for me from elementary through high school!
My one friend would often try to integreate me into their greater friend group with limited to varying success. Group dynamics were quite a mystery and a tad overwhelming for me.
I wasn't interested in having a group. I liked the intimacy of one friend and was satisfied with that.
Some kids need help making and managing friendships. What comes so naturally to others, may not come naturally to them!
Thing Your Neurodivergent Kid Wants to Tell You #276: Help Me Make Friends
Here are a few ways you can help your child who needs help make and keep friends:
Look...we all think our kids are perfect and we find their quirks cute. But being very blunt, for example, or tending to dominate conversations can hurt people's feelings or make them feel uncared about. Talk to your child about how what we do makes other people feel. It's not our job to appeal to everyone, but part of being a good friend is the give and take. Role play conversations with your child. You'd be surprised how eager kids are to learn how to talk to people and express themselves in a way others can receive. This isn't about shaming or masking, but what a conversation, rather than a monologue or observation, looks and feels like. It's really empowering and builds a lot of confidence to understand the difference.
Common ground. It's so much easier to be friends with someone when you have something in common. A love for drawing, a video game, animals, a sport, a movie genre, baking. One way to find kids your child might become friends with is through talking to parents in your circle and seeing who likes what. Another way, if you're introverted, is to sign your child up for a class. Ask them if there's a person in there they might want to be friends with. They already have something in common!
Take the initiative. This might be hard if you're an introverted parent, but lots of kids need help planning playdates and get togethers. I really liked one on one playdates in my home or my close friend's home. Playing in their bedrooms, reading their books, playing with their toys, talking about whatever, it was so much fun. If your child doesn't quite know how to initiate play, plan an activity: you cake make faux gingerbread houses with graham crackers and peanut butter all year long, catching bugs outside, collecting flowers at a park and pressing them between pages in journals, a baking project, a movie with popcorn, meeting up at a park with snacks, going to a bookstore, a trampoline park or and reading side by side...there are tons of fun things you can do.
A kid might not know how to say, "Help me make friends," but trust me, every child wants a buddy.
As a parent, it can be hard to see your little one struggle in that area. Try. And pray.
My prayer is that the same way God came through for me, He brings your child a little best friend, too.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Meets Dog Man Meets Faith, Fun, & Laughs
David's Diary is a brand new chapter book series by Bunmi Laditan full of everyday adventure. Featuring neurodivergent characters who GROW and figure out that with God, all things are possible.
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